reading reading reading....

love the reading.....

we have a new fun library habit.

we walk through and pick out  every book that stands out, whether its because the art is cool, or the title is catchy..... whatever. This started because I would look for certain titles (which is impossible in the kid's section) and end up leaving frustrated after not finding any of the titles I went for....but getting home & realizing i really liked what i just grabbed randomly.

Now we walk and grab. 

Whatever strikes us, its quite fun... the excitement of what is in the bag when we get home...if we will like it, if not.

We have found some REALLY great books this way. aaaannnddddd some REALLY lame ones.

tonight we read 10 books, of those- 6 of them I would borrow again, 2 of them i will buy.

~worthy of public mention~

Can You Say Peace?

touching, educational and fun!

Way Out in the Desert

obvious, but i love different ways of teaching keira about the sonoran desert! 

it's our home!

Pablo's Tree

cute story, great theme.

Glass Slipper Gold Sandal 

interesting, not so fun for a 3 year old to listen to- I had to get creative with the reading.

The Butterfly's Dream

fun to read, great message.

we shall not be moved

we shall we shall not be moved 
we shall we shall not be moved 
just like a tree planted by the water
we shall not be moved

when we sing together we shall not be moved 
when we sing together we shall not be moved 
just like a tree planted by the water
we shall not be moved

when we work together we shall not be moved
when we work together we shall not be moved
just like a tree planted by the water
we shall not be moved

when we're playing banjos we shall not be moved
when we're playing banjos we shall not be moved
just like a tree planted by the water
we shall not be moved

we shall we shall not be moved 
we shall we shall not be moved 
just like a tree planted by the water
we shall not be moved

just like a tree planted by the water
we shall not be moved

dan zanes take

i like it

Our Morning Smoothie

also for dianna~ and whoever else ;)

1c frozen organic strawberries

2 handfuls of spinach

1 banana

1/2c (ish) hemp milk*

organic hemp protein powder^

greens powder of choice^

alfalfa sprouts^

put strawberries in blender with enough hemp milk to blend it smooth, then add the rest.

*i never measure, just add it as I blend the strawberries

^optional items, i rotate some in & out dependaning on what looks good at store. I also sometimes add organic peanut butter if i am out of hemp powder.

Vegan Pesto Pasta Salad

1  bag whole wheat organic pasta

2 handfuls fresh basil

2-3 cloves of garlic

1 handful of pine nuts

olive oil

balsamic vinegar

salt

put basil, garlic and pine nuts in food  processor/blender and blend, adding a drizzle of olive oil until creamy, then I add a drizzle of balsamic to taste... then salt.

mix dressing with pasta and refridge until nice and cold.

I love it... it may be just be me though.... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE strong, fresh flavors.

Black Bean Salad

*for ms. dianna- you're gonna love it*

1 can organic black beans~ rinsed & drained

1 16oz bag of organic frozen corn thawed

1 organic medium size red onion~ chopped

juice of two limes

palm full of salt

cilantro to taste

1-2 ish tsp of agave syrup

mix together & refridgerate for 2 hours-ish...

its so yum by itself or on blue corn tortilla chips

I am Another Mother for PEACE!

are you?

another mother for peace website

Family Cloth What?!?

In direct opposition to jared, ira & i have switched entirely to "family cloth" (A.K.A. cloth toilet paper).  I was a little off put by the thought, but knew that we were using much too much paper waste, and we have already gone cloth with EVERYTHING else. We use cloth napkins, cloth diapers, cloth wipes, etc. We never buy or use paper plates or anything (even for parties).

So, I made the plunge.

I cut up old stained/worn out towels (unfortunate decision in the aesthetic department), and we were off! At the moment, 4x4 squares work great, and I am thinking of venturing into the linen closet to see what old flannel things I have in there to cut up as well. 

Now, i think jared could have possibly been swayed had a chose a different fabric as starters, because the moment he saw the stained squares, he verbally reaffirmed that this was a disgusting lifestyle journey he would not be along for.

Although, he also shed a tear over losing his beloved napkins and look at him now. Proudly explaining to guests how we have converted to cloth.

Time will tell.

Im actually thinking of heading to the craft store for dyes to dye the cloths in vibrant appealing shades....i wonder what color triggers the "i need to wipe my butt with this cloth" center of the brain.

hmmmmm

hmmm.....

i want to do  this!

breastmilk jewelry

CLoth Diapers Made Incredibly Easy

We CD (cloth diapered) ira starting at about 10 months until she was 90% potty learned. 

This is what we did then and now with Liv's diapers... we have never had any stink issues, we have never had staining, nada. All of them are in great shape. Try it out! Its so easy and super cheapzo!!!

We used top loader machines until just recently, and this is still working well with our new front loader.

Cold Rinse

Hot Wash with 1 c. baking soda

Cold Rinse with 1/2c white vinegar

Second Cold Rinse

Ahhhhh.....sigh

Oh, Mildred & Dildred.... how i love thee.

It's been 3 days, and i still have the fuzzies. 

On saturday, we played in their store for hours, and then bought hours worth of toys and music :)

The feelings of childhood innocence came rushing back as ira played house with two children and Jared donned a knights armor & i robin hoods hat and we began a sword fight.

The fine ladies that work their put on The Johnny Cash Children's Album for us to sample and dance to while i nursed liv in the sling and jared, keira and other new friends catapulted playmobile figures across the castle walls.

Thanks Guys!

Article about the opening of Mildred & Dildred!

Im up late, again.

I crave this quite time. When all is well, ira & jared in bed asleep, babe asleep in arms.

Every morning I awake wishing I had gotten more rest, but by the end of the night, I need some adult time.

Part of what is keeping me up tonight is ira's energy.

Its endless.

I went & bought some new dan zanes music, a johnny cash kids album, new educational stuff, new toys... activity books.... but I know she is simply craving that momma time. She gets plenty on the weekends because Jared is home and can entertain olive while I get in my ira fix. But throughout the week, I can see her get frustrated because I am nursing Liv AGAIN... or because I have to tell her, "no painting right now" or "please dont push on liv's feet"...or any number of little things I cannot do immediately. I believe this to be a learning curve for us.

Pre-Liv, every situation was tailored only to Ira, and she has done an amazing job coping. I have struggled, though. I get visibly frustrated when I can't do it all.

So, I am sitting here saddened at another day of my struggling. Im just dreaming of when Liv can sit up and play along a little.

I love the way we are raising these kids, I know it makes sense, but I do not have all the answers.

I do not know how to stay present and calm and aware after Liv is cranky for three hours on end because every time I get her asleep, Ira shouts or needs to pee or is hungry or something.

OR

Everytime I am doing something for Ira, Liv starts crying, wets a diaper or needs to nurse.

They both are innocent little beings with needs, all of those needs are important to me, so I sit here, going over the day, deciding what I will do differently tomorrow and telling myself repeatedly that a couple of tele shows are not going to wipe clean all the knowledge I have so far imparted unto her.

Oh, and by the way- babycenter sent me a "your 3 year old this week" email.... with tips on how to teach colors to a three year old.

do people wait this long?

Im curious.

my word of the day today is "perfunctory"...it's such a cool word, but not the coolest meaning...

"lacking interest or enthusiasm" blah hooey.

it should mean "perfect fun factory" as in "the children's museum is a perfunctory of joy".

Im writing webster.

BBQ Tofu!

Who Knew?

Organic Extra Firm Tofu soaked overnight in BBQ and grilled...i put in on bread with veganaise.... 

oh so yummy.

Liv's Birth Story

I started having contractions on may 12th, my official due date. I woke jared up a little after 11pm and asked him to sit with me. They were coming every 5 minutes, but were not very strong. Jared said to me, "dont you think that maybe if you can still sleep, you should. YOu dont want to be up all night and exhausted during your birth" so I decided to go to bed....

I then woke up at 4am-ish may 13th with REALLY strong contractions. I labored on the birth ball for a a little while... they were getting stronger and closer together, so I called my mw at around 530am.

My midwives got here at 8, and my contractions all but stopped. I was having contractions about 5-10 minutes apart, but they were not getting stronger or closer at that point.

My midwife suggested I take a walk for the third time, so I agreed and jared, ira and I went on a walk around the block... about a half mile!

I was so angry I didnt want to come home, I kept saying, "I trust my body, I dont want to speed anything up, if my body is slowing down, I want to let it...when we get home- you tell them they have to leave!" It was at this point that i realized i was actually scared... i was actually IN LABOR, and nothing was going to stop it.... not wine, not a bath, not breathing. I felt like the countdown was ON and it would be a matter of hours before I was pushing and working and tired..... so yeah, I freaked out a bit ;) I could tell jared didnt want to have to tell them to go, but he wasnt going to argue with me... .pre labor- we had established the- "you do not argue with me while in labor" rule. True to his word, this man was not going to argue with me.

So when we got back from the walk, my mw pulled jared aside and said she was going to leave and give me some privacy to labor and focus, etc. (how is that for intuition? she just *knew* which is why I love her)..Jared was thrilled he didnt have to say anything.....

So it was about 11 am at this point and they left. I took a nap on the couch and woke up at noon with incredibly strong and relentless contractions. The birth ball saved my life, but I told jared to get the pool ready. I NEEDED to be in the water- needed it.

I was using hypnobirthing breathing techniques and imagery... I felt really in control and on top of my labor. I do think I screamed at jared a little because the water heater ran out and the pool was no where near full.. So he ran and got out our stock pots and was boiling like four huge pots of water as well as using the water heater. THe pool was ready to go at 1pm, and when I got in, I swear it felt like magic water. It was absolutely the most amazing relief. jared called the midwife and she said to call her in an hour if things were still progressing.

Ira was in the pool with me the ENTIRE time... from the moment I got in. She was mostly playing, but during my contractions she would pour warm water on my back or put pressure where daddy had showed her to. It was quite beautiful actually. I absolutely love that she was introduced to birth this way. No fear. I was still able to let her know when contractions were coming calmly and explain what I was feeling, which I think helped me as well. Jared was amazing. During my contractions, he would hold my hands and I would press my forehead against his and he would say, "welcome the pain, jen" (thanks rach) and it was all so great.

At 2:30, I got out of the pool to pee and *knew* that if I didnt get the mw here, we would be doing this alone. I had three contractions on top of each other in the hall on the way back to the pool and out of the water they were so not peaceful and beautiful... they sucked and I lost my cool completely. sucked .

Jared called our midwife and told her, "jen says she needs you here now"

the midwife said, "does she want anything?" I said, "yes an eegee (a fruit slush)" when she asked what kind, I thought to myself, we dont have time, she needs to be here now... so I said, "no- come now, forget the eegee"



When they got here at 3pm ish, which is hilarious, because she said there was all kinds of traffic and thinking back if she would have stopped at eegees, she would not have made it here. I asked her to check me. I was at a 6 . grrr. I had BELIEVED i would be fully dilated. This news frustrated me.

And with the frustration, I think I started fighting contractions. Jared says that he could SEE that I was fighting them, but was afraid to say anything, because we had agreed to a "NO questioning, NO telling me what to do" rule.

(jared is a capricorn, he responds well to rules) He needed to go to the bathroom, and my mw sat with me through a contraction. I told her I "was scared, and that I fighting contractions, because I was only at a six, and what if I couldnt make it, what if I couldnt do it, I still needed to go 4 more centimeters and I didnt feel strong enough" This is when she spoke the magic words that I will forever tell all my birthing friends and random pregnant women at grocery stores.....

She said, "jen, your cervix is so thin and so loose, its going to slip over your baby's head like a tight sweater."

This was apparetnly all I needed. She talked me through a contraction and when I started to vocalize and say "owwwwww", she kept me saying "oooooppppeeeennnnn, open, ooooppppeeennnn" instead.

Jared was back from the bathroom, and it was 4pm.

The next contraction was INTENSE. It was so intense I couldnt even get my mind right. I couldnt tell what my body was doing- and up until that point I was visualizing everything, so I felt really aware. All of a sudden I was lost.

I looked at jared and said, "I need to welcome the pain, the pain is good, my body needs to feel the pain".

He looked at me and said, "you are amazing, you are doing it"

The next contraction, I let my fear go and felt it completely, I started vocalizing "open" and visualizing the baby slipping through the cervix. Then next contraction, I did the same thing, but my whole body was engaged and I had a hard time vocalizing, my midwife said, "your pushing?" and I said, "I dont know, am I?...yes, I am"

lol.

I hadnt realized thats what I did on that last contraction, it felt so natural, it was truly unconscious..I read that your body would push the baby out on its own, and I believed it, but feeling it was an entirely different thing. the next contraction was the same, except I was visualizing the baby's head crowing,vocalized more than pushed and I felt the stretching.

I also felt that I might tear, so I pulled back. I didnt push again for the next contraction, I let my body do it all.

My midwife said that the head was almost out, and for me to feel for it. I said no- she asked jared to and he just looked at me and said, "no- she needs me up here". (swoon right?!?)

I was afraid if I felt her head, and it was not as close as I was visualizing, it would throw me off, and if I felt her and it was further, I would start to panic about the breathing thing (I was still in the water and slightly worried even though I knew the facts).

Ira had been in the room this entire time, my midwife's assistant had arrived, and the second midwife (visiting from germany) had been talking keira through everything. She told her my "singing" was helping bring the baby out.

So the last contraction, My body pushed, I pushed, and it was CRAZY. My midwife said, "everything is great jen, but you need to flip over into a squat." she said it so calm, and normal- I said " im not moving!!"

She just looked at me and said, "you need to turn over".

I trusted her, and did. Next contraction baby was out, and on my chest and BLUE.

so scary. no breathing, no crying, no anything. My midwife said, "everything is fine jen, she had a nuchal hand, so you just pushed out a head with a hand and arm next to it. She is not stressed, look at her, talk to her. Her cord is pulsing, she is getting air".

the nurse in me popped in and I panicked and said, "I want oxygen for her NOW!" the midwife assistant got the oxygen. My midwife gave her two bursts of air, but she was still connected to the unbilical cord which was still pulsing, but I was still nervous, and I think we were all a little worried, then the german midwife was like, "you guys, this is fine, the baby is fine, talk to your baby jen" And we all calmed down and I looked at my baby and started talking to her. Liv opened her eyes and started breathing. I cried. I think at this point everyone was still calling her a "he" and I knew it was a girl, when I looked, I was right, and I said, "you guys ITS a girl!"

Ira was back in the room(for a while now)as soon as the midwife knew everything was okay- right after the oxygen, but before she was awake.


Her birth time? 4:15!

that ALLLLLLLL happened in 15 MINUTES!

My midwife said I birthed the head in 3 pushes!

I had birthed in the pool that we set up in the kitchen (many of you know it is my favourite room).

I bled quite a bit while birthing the placenta and Ira got a little nervous, but cordelia, the german midwife told her the blood was "like medicine that helped the baby come out" (i think- this is how ira interpreted it at least..... and that FASCINATED her. She is still telling people about the red medicine, which is funny to explain.

As i was still waiting on the placenta, my friend anna came- we had called her at 3pm but I think she was at work and it took a bit to get here.

We all moved into the guest room, my midwife checked me- NO TEARS! Jared, keira, olive and I laid in bed while my midwife, her assistant, cordelia the german midwife and anna took care of everything. I wanted coffee and jared went to make that and help empty the pool.

Anna went and got us ALL food, a bouquet of flowers... so wonderful to be surrounded by great people.

They made an imprint of my placenta in paper which looks like the tree of life (will post pics soon).

It was amazing and i wouldnt change a thing, it was healing, and really brought an incredible dynamic to jared and my relationship.

He was available in ways i never expected.... he even baked cupcakes with keira in my early labor!!!!

amazing!

I have to say, that aside from needing an excuse to see my midwife regularly (i love her).. this birth made me want to have like 3 more kids.... however, seeing as it is 1 a.m. and my little newborn has a stuffy nose and cant nurse and is screaming every hour... Imay just wait a bit ;)

Ira's Birth

In many ways ira's birth was hell, and in many ways it was a necessary beginning to my journey as a woman. I left the hospital feeling wronged, mistreated and weak. I am going to attempt to write this story out, but it may take sometime and more than one session.

we shall see.

Well, I am.

Raising lovies.

Two beautiful loving lovies.

I awoke this morning, alive.

Im thirsty for more knowledge... and every bit of new yummy info I find, I will pass along here.

Today

Today is new, alive and bright.

Im 27, I feel 20 and everyday I realize I am feeling better and better.

My 5 month old fetus demanded I become a vegetarian with her imparting to me an incredible meat aversion.

After her birth, she demanded I become vegan with her very own dairy sensitivity.

I sit here vegan, and energetic, and questioning why it took me soooo long to get here.

Im discovering things about life, my body, our world.