thank you linda

My Mother in Law passed away three months before i met jared, and she left him and therefore me, many beautiful gifts...some REALLY weird things and about a million wicker baskets. 

Sometimes i find little treasures here, in the house she lived in, that i feel were left so that only someone worthy would find them.

My last gift from beyond, pinking shears.

Might I add, about a week after i said outloud to jared- "babe, i need to get pinking shears, can you remind me tomorrow?"

i forgot.... he forgot to remind me.

then as we were cleaning the office, we decided to clean out one of her old sewing machine tables that we keep meaning to refinish... and found these.

not ever knowing her, these little things always make me sad... i think we would have gotten along so well.

popcorn

BEHOLD- my first attempt at ever popping popcorn that was not pre packaged.....

i havent had popcorn in years..... now- im eating it like its about to become illegal....

liv oblivious as to what popcorn is....

ira totally uninterested in the process- just awaiting her bowl.....

hiking

while on a hike a week ago- the kids found this little shaded area with clovers growing in it!

beautiful thing to find here in the desert.

daddy, im hungry

came a small voice.... four hours after we retired blissfully to bed.

daddy being rockstar daddy, he went & fetched a banana & water, chatted while she ate... and then coaxed her into cuddling... (not very challenging as he is a jedi master cuddler).

then- it came. the fever.

the disoriented, too hot to think emotional wave of "im not okay but i dont know why or what to do" irrational state that a 3.5  year old can not grapple out of.

daddy, being sleepy and  missing completely the increasing heat radiating, is trying desperately to reason & trying even harder to understand what is up with our normally sweet pleasant happy to be anywhere little lady.

im half awake, nursing liv- and trying to whisper to her that "all the things are alright, all is well". 

meeting every irrational request with an "okay sweetie, sure love, we can get up", looked to a confused daddy who thinks im now bonkers too, at 430, mumbling about how much "i too, love wallE and that i will most certainly read her a book, just give me two seconds to unlatch sleeping liv."

so even longer story short, we are all up by 5, jared & i are slamming coffee and water to stop our sleep deprived shaking hands & foggy brains..jared saying things like, "blessing, this is a great opportunity to get my homework done so we can go to the farmers market..." etc etc

.. and then....

her fever breaks, she is asleep on the couch.

we are wired, im reading blogs and crying at the magnificent  serendipitous morning events filling up what would normally be a darkened, quiet sleeping house.

liv has reached a new milestone....

she crawled away from me.

like, right down the hallway, into the playroom to go with her sister. 

didn't. even. look. back.

up until now, we have not been more than maybe 10 feet from each other unless she was within 10 feet of her daddy.

I was in shock. 

If I am cleaning the kitchen or cooking, she plays at my feet or is in the sling.....

If I am knitting, or checking emails or reading- she is nursing or playing at my feet or is in the sling.....

so ira went running into the playroom, i was standing in the living room talking to jared and liv squirmed to be put down. 

she took. off.

fast.

jared said, "wow, you are no longer a food source to be kept in direct line of sight, you are a permanent fixture to her, she feels safe to leave you".

i was about to feel sad, until he spoke... then, his words framed up my emotions and put it up in front of me to see the beauty & magic that is intuitive/attachment parenting. 

this is what all those awkward sleeping babe in sling trips to the restroom were for.... this is why i sit silently, holding her while she sleeps for naps.... this is why i nurse her in the mei tei while i dance to brazilian music and cook dinner and clean and craft with ira...

so that she may feel safe and secure enough to take off and explore.

 

breastfeeding campaign!

in marin county, ca!!!!!

i was catching up on some blogs while breastfeeding- and caught this on eco chic family blog!

I LOVE THIS!

click here to read more!

ira is an artiste

and you cannot stop art..... 

even when it is on my cloth napkins.....
 or a storage bin....she hangs her own grocery lists on the message board....

she creates gorgeous centerpieces from found things ;)

and draws portraits of her favourite, long distance family members....

she did all of this while i cleaned and made us fresh juice from these fine lookin' fruits & veggies....

what do sick days look like?

if you love a good give away....

check this blog!

also check out her etsy! i foresee some of these items popping into miss ira's life VERY soon!

i am full

this moment is clear.

we are present.

we are the present

we are the children and the grandchildren

of the revolution

witnessing the change that began with the butterfly's wing-

my camera is with my husband

but i need to document this moment.


joyous.

my camera is with my husband

but i need to document this moment.


joyous.

it was a creed.....

.. written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --

Yes. We. Can.

happiness is.....

watching my 3 year old glue glitter to wooden stars while humming.

letting my 8 month old learn to create and paint- but with pureed organic green beans- ya know, in case she eats any (she did).

having circle time and dancing....

cooking a brisket that fills the house with the scent of tomatoes, garlic, onions..... mmmmmmmmm......

living in a place that gives 78 degree january days.... and lots of lots of sun.

finishing up the last of 4 loads of laundry that were cast aside in the name of fun over the weekend.

drinking more lemonade, with rose hips and lavender today.

fresh eggs from a beautiful friend (even two greenish blue ones I havent yet decided if I will ever be able to crack open they are too pretty)

soooo...

im signing this today.... despite the fact that i have a 2 foot by 6 inch hole in the drywall of theh guest bath, and dirty base boards (and missing baseboards) and half painted walls and a cluttered office (that belongs to my hubby- i do not do clutter)...............

Im signing this because I believe it, but even when you know a truth, sometimes.... well sometimes its easy to get caught up in the "pretty perfect house syndrome".

if it all burned away, happiness would remain.

yours in peace,

jen

red quinoa

serious addiction here.

with feta & lime juice

olive oil & salt

sour cream and capsacin sensation

with beets on rice tortilla

with cumin, garlic, onion, chilli powder etc... and white corn tortilla chips.

cold. plain.

i. love. quinoa

edge. verge. brink.

Im right there.


not as in- im on the edge of a cliff. no.

as in, im on the edge of a MAJOR life event here. Im on the edge of figuring something out. I can feel it.

kind of like when you are 10 feet from your 8 month old as they are about to fall and smack their head on the tile. You are watching it happen, you are attempting to move. you are frozen. but you are absorbing every. single. second.

absorbing it in a way that would allow you draw a frame by frame by memory alone.

one hundred thoughts fly threw your brain and your catching snippets of each.

"shoulda been closer if you only..."

"damn desert and tile being...."

"why is she growing...."

"please dont fall near that, oh no.."

"stoopid me and this juicer..."

"that apple is the reason..."


and so on....


i feel that way today. all. day.

Im hearing my words as if i were my own 3 and a half year wise child.

i see the hope in her eyes as she brings me a picture to make me feel better.

I snapped at her today.

because she didnt want to go to the park.



why on earth would anyone try to FORCE a child to the park.

why am i standing here trying to pretend i know her needs & desires anymore than she does?

she has built herself a car out of an old wooden rocking chair & three croquet bats. she is content to stay here and drink the lemonade I made this morning.

"but i made plans."

"but i said we would"

"I have cancelled too many times this month"

"i"

"i"

"i"

and then i see it. from her side.

I have three hundred crafts waiting for me.

three novels begging to be read.

laundry to be put away.


why am I rushing about?

soon enough, the heat will return to the desert.

the sun will beat relentlessly down upon our bodies and send us running from a/c to a/c.... trying not to let our flip flops melt on the 250 degree asphalt.

Why am I worried about anything at all?

today is perfect. 77 degrees.

sunny.

we have three jars of lemonade in the fridge... with lavender, rose hips, hibiscus and nettles.

im seeing this all

its all making sense.

My child is my teacher.

Ive been a horrible student.





"

Library Books

we got some lovely lovely books this round.

I think I already updated some of them, but I am just typing these out really quickly without links because we are returning them and I want a log of all the ones we love (and dont love) for when bdays and such pop up and we are thinking of titles....


Loved List: [bolded ones were especially loved]

Little Night
by Yuyi Morales

a monkey among us
by dave horowitz

my first ramadan
by karen katz

the shortest day
by wendy pfeffer

Chanukah lights everywhere
by michael rosen

Growing up with tamales
by gwendolyn zepeda

annies chair
by deborah niland

the gigantic turnip
by aleksei tolstoy

anansi and the magic stick
by eric a. kimmel

on the first night of chanukah
by cecily kaiser

the three armadillies tuff
by jackie mims hopkins

off we go to mexico
by laurie krebs and christopher corr

the not as loved for various reasons list:

Feliz Nochebuena
by maricel e. presilla
[it was great for information & older children, kinda lost ira's attention after the first 5 long word heavy pages]

Diez Deditos
selected & translated by jose-luis orozco
[I can read music, but im not so good with spanish pronunciation... it was too advanced for me ;)]

How music came to the world
retold by hal ober
[i loved it. ira said it was a little scary]

kitchen campout

ira set up a camp site in the kitchen, and played in there allllll day......

it had a tent, dinner table, picnic blanket, chairs, firepit, hammock for a sleepy kitten & clothesline to hang wet clothes from swimming in the lake.

all ira designed & implemented. the lake was an unauthorized development..... she had forgotten to apply for that permit, so we haulted construction.








this is a crocheted tomato turned one eyed monster.

lemons!!!!!

if anyone has some good recipes for all these lemons- let me know- SOON!

the rhythm is gonna get you

I hope this song gets stuck in your head for days...... because try as i might- i cannot get it out of mine.

But, to be serious for a moment... bringing rhythm into our daily living has done more for the quality of our lives than any other single thing we have implemented.

In the past year we have-

• gotten rid of all plastic toys (except playmobile.... i cannot imagine my life ...erm..... ira's life without playmobile). It has all but squashed the "disposable toy syndrome".

• cut back on how much & what quality of media ira is exposed to. Im not a huge fan of absolutes... i dont like to deal in extremes..... so tv, tv stays, and a healthy relationship is being established. Id rather not have my child turn into a tv addict in her teens/twenties when she discovers HGTV.... oh.... wait... im talking about me again.

• daily arts & crafts.
  

• RHYTHM. this has changed sooooooo much. it feeds our need for consistency, alternating quiet & active times, outdoor play, etc. We are not strict about specific times, but sticking to a general playbook just WORKS for us.

In case anyone is interested, ours goes something like this.

• Wake, brush teeth, start laundry. Pick up kitchen, listen to music, cook breakfast, free play.

• After about 2 hours, liv goes down for a nap. we have quiet time, books, quiet play, etc.

• Two hours later- we are up and i make lunch while ira & liv are playing. This is when we run errands, i clean, we go outside, etc. If we do not go to any activities, we do a craft of some sort. Sometimes we do a long hour of library books/circle time. Puppet shows. Bake.
  

• Nurse liv to sleep, quiet play/rest time. Usually lasts an hour.

• Nature walk, park, etc. Lasts anywhere from an hour to three depending on when we head out..
  

• Come home by 5, Dinner prep, dinner.

• Bath, story time, bed by 9 ish.

I started for ira- to give her a solid routine she could rely on. turns out- i needed it too.

It works for us....